Handy Hints

 This week I thought I’d suggest a few things to do when listening to the radio in case the lack of pictures was in away spoiling your enjoyment of Steve Wright in the Afternoon.

1.       Do a jigsaw puzzle - the kitscher the better, your nearest charity shop is highly likely to sell at least one puzzle of Princess Diana for about 50p

2.      Enjoy the view from your window – whether or not it’s more car-parky than collegey 

3.      Knit/learn to knit - there are plenty of tutorials on YouTube. Who needs to a Gran when you can learn from an American “Mom” with way too much time on her hands and a web cam?

4.      Take up crocheting – notes as above.

5.      Jog/go to the gym – if you must exercise at least be listening to something improving like Today in Parliament on Radio 4

6.      Walk to lectures – pretty simple this one

7.      Paint/draw – if you don’t have any inspiration of what to paint think back to primary school and paint about how you feel. If the resulting picture involves any of the following three, blood/death/Chris de Burgh, you should probably speak to your Chaplain or Welfare Officer.

8.      Have a bath – as documented in my previous post, though the logistics can be a little tricky

9.      Go to sleep – especially easy if you’re listening to talkSPORT

      http://blogs.varsity.co.uk/vulture/an-interactive-radio-experience

For those at all thrown by uni-specific references simply replace as below:
Collegey = charmingly pastoral
Lectures = school/work
Chaplain/Welfare Office = Mum/a concerned friend
      
  

Bathroom Radio Adventures

For Christmas I asked Santa (aka my mother) for a novelty shower radio having decided that at the moment showering wasn’t quite as musical or as novel as it should be. Mum then proceeded to ruin the magic of Christmas by immediately looking at various radios on Amazon; would I prefer the mood light effect duck, the pretend microphone or the penguin? The most novel one, I replied, thinking, quite uncharitably, that she’d probably just get the cheapest.

 Cut to Christmas day and I receive what can only be described as the most maximally novel novelty shower radio. Not only is this radio in the shape of a penguin but the penguin is wearing a striped rubber ring and goggles (which function as the on/off button), the volume is adjusted by turning one of its feet and the station can be changed by moving its flippers.  However, the manufacturer’s don’t even stop there, to top it all off they’ve added a special red button that, when pushed in an emergency situation, emits a loud beep. For those unsure as to what constitutes an emergency situation they’ve also handily printed on the radio pictures to represent when the button is to be used; namely if you’ve ran out of toilet paper, have forgotten your towel or you’ve slipped and had a terrible fall. So if I do ever need to press this button I’ll be expecting my neighbours to instantly rush to my aid brandishing toilet rolls, spare towels and a first aid kit.

Needless to say I am very happy with my new radio and on arriving back in Cambridge I immediately installed it in our communal shower. Although it’s actually quite hard to hear it over the sound of the water it has made the act of showering itself a little more interesting as I now have the added fun of having to delicately manoeuvre the flipper of a plastic penguin in order to tune into any station properly.

Given this recent foray into bathroom-based radio when I noticed that the first in a series of new “site-specific” Guardian podcasts Everyday Moments was supposed to be listened to in the evening and in the bath I thought I’d give it a go. So grabbing my dressing gown, towel and shark shower cap (another novelty Christmas gift from my mother) I went in search of a bath as we only have a shower on our staircase and I decided that, whether or not you should use an MP3 Player in the bath, you almost definitely shouldn’t use one in the shower. Having located a bath and filled it I settled down to listening to the podcast but only after having elaborately arranged my headphones so they wouldn’t trail in the bubbles.

The podcast itself was a little odd and I’m not sure I completely got into it especially given that my childish mind refused to let me listen to the repeated reference to holes without giggling. The song at the end was very soothing and probably the best bit of the podcast although the effect was somewhat ruined when it was followed alphabetically on my MP3 Player by Meatloaf’s “Everything Louder Than Everything Else.” All in all I enjoyed the idea of the podcast more than the content itself though I would recommend having a listen (in the bath) as it was an interesting experience; however I won’t be held responsible for any soggy iPods this may or may not result in.

And for those of you wondering whether or not this whole post was little more than an elaborate ploy to get you to imagine me naked, like mature ladies with perms in magazine adverts for bath cushions, I only ever bathe wearing a floral one-piece swimming costume.

This post was written as my first radio blog for the Varsity website (one of the Cambridge student newspapers):

http://blogs.varsity.co.uk/vulture/a-shower-not-a-hurricane

I should be updating the Varsity blog once a week and I think I'll post it on here as well  and if I have time also writing some smaller bits just for this blog.

The Fo' Show Review

On Tuesday night I went to see a recording of a comedy panel show for Cam FM (the University of Cambridge and Anglia Ruskin University radio station) and reviewed it for one of the student newspaper's websites. Here is the link to the review for anyone who's interested:

http://www.varsity.co.uk/reviews/3043

I really liked it so you should probably also listen to the show as well as read the review. If you're really lucky you might be able to hear me laughing loudly at inappropriate moments unless they've edited that out. I think I may also groan a few times when Pierre talks about spiders. This is mainly because mentioning spiders alongside food brought up images of one of my greatest and most oddly specific fears, that of finding said creatures crawling on a dish of my favourite food, stuffed pasta.

I've Never Seen Star Wars

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00hcr5l/Ive_Never_Seen_Star_Wars_Series_2_Barry_Cryer/

Lately I've been listening to repeats of I've Never Seen Star Wars on Radio 4. I quite like the concept of the show (although it is dangerously similar to Room 101) where each week Marcus Brigstocke invites a celebrity guest to try a variety of new experiences and mark them out of 10. (The title of the programme stems from the fact that the creator and producer Bill Dare had never seen any of the Star Wars films.)

Marcus Brigstocke is consistently funny as the host and the experiences often contrast amusingly with the guest's public persona, for example Suggs was asked to read A Brief History of Time, however this doesn't necessarily guarantee good radio. As although trying to picture Sandi Toksvig stilt walking is a fun exercise of the imagination trying to picture Jan Ravens having her eyebrows threaded isn't quite so compelling.

Overall the concept of the programme, although interesting, does seem more suited to television and has in fact been adapted for BBC Four. However as a welcome break from variations of the comedy panel show format such as Heresy and The Unbelievable Truth, I've Never Seen Star Wars is an entertaining listen, if a little over demanding on the imagination.

A few comedy recommendations

Just thought I'd recommend a few good comedy programmes before they go off iPlayer.

Marley Was Dead
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00wqhlv/Marley_Was_Dead/

So it wasn't quite the star-studded adaptation of A Christmas Carol I was expecting but it was much more interesting than this. I don't want to give the gimmick away because you should listen to it but the way the writers play with the medium was ingenious and although this wasn't the same live (I listened on iPlayer) it was still effective. However programme does need to be listened to with a generous Christmas spirit as it does border on the sentimental; I listened whilst drinking port and making a gingerbread house but I guess you could always just crack open the Quality Street to get a similar feeling.

iGod
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00ws7md/iGod_Episode_2/

Some of the oddest comedy I've heard on Radio 4 and really well suited to its late night slot. This is a series in which each 15 minute episode the amazingly voiced narrator explains how the apocalypse on various other parallel Earths has been caused by the ordinary actions of an ordinary bloke called Ian. The last episode was a crazy Shawshank Redemption spoof in which Ian created a tomato soup with the secret ingredient of concrete that became popular worldwide. Eventually everyone died coughing up breeze blocks. Although this week wasn't quite as funny as this it was worth a listen and I'll definitely be tuning in to the next episode on Wednesday at 11.00pm.

Delete This At Your Peril - the Bob Servant E-Mails
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00wqgml/You_and_Yours_24_12_2010/
(As this is being broadcast as part of You and Yours you'll need to skip to 27 minutes in to get to this.)

Although the target for this comedy, internet spammers, might feel quite safe and maybe a little "Daily Telegraph" the way it's taken to the extreme is hilarious and I particularily love the sound effects. This week the exchange is between Bob, who won his computer "in the bowling club raffle," and "Natalia" a young Russian women played excellently by Laura "China Lion" Solon (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jbl47GtH-WQ) needless to say Natalia's fondness for Bob doesn't seem to be completely guileless.

So this isn't really a review but...

On Monday I decided to broaden my horizons and listen to a radio station other than Radio 4. This change was mainly motivated by the fact that it was 11.30 and Today in Parliament was on (now that the speaker is no longer Scottish I can't even enjoy the first few seconds; "Order! Order!" just isn't the same with John Bercow.) In view of this I decided to defect to Radio 3 and to, what I discovered later, was the ominously titled Jazz on 3.

Now I'm not saying I hate jazz but when my piano teacher told me that if I wanted to carry on taking Jazz Piano exams I should really listen to more jazz (preferably jazz involving pianos) I took to the decision to stop taking Jazz Piano exams. Why I ever made the decision to start taking Jazz Piano exams remains a mystery to me. However ignoring any past associations I decided to listen with an open mind. When the presenter announced that the next piece would involve a Hammond organ I forced myself to think "Goodie! Jazz organ, my favourite!" I managed to keep this optimism up for about three minutes before coming to the conclusion that Jazz on 3 wasn't really for me either. So I began retuning my MP3 player to see if there were was anything worth listening to on a different station and it did that thing were it kept tuning out of the station and then tuning back in which gave me the weird sensation of being followed by an irate improvising jazz-organist who really wanted me to listen to them play.

Finding nothing else of interest I returned to Radio 4 just in time for Finishing the Hat an interesting enough programme about Stephen Sondheim, although he did remind me quite a lot of the start of this fantastic Mitchell and Webb sketch, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YptTtb4VPA, especially as he kept on referencing Oscar Hammerstein. Whether or not I stray away from Radio 4 again remains to be seen, however if I do I will make sure to thoroughly check the programme schedules beforehand. I wouldn't want jazz to happen again by mistake.

My first post (about last night's radio)

So last night I listened to Radio 4 in bed. I quite often listen to the radio at night but it’s a lot easier at uni where I have a normal bed and can listen to a “proper” radio as opposed to at home where my bunk bed (which I once fell through and as a result always go to sleep in an odd sort of brace position in) means I have to listen on my MP3 player or my brother’s old cassette player if I remember to put batteries in it. Listening on my MP3 player also means that in order to maintain signal I have to avoid touching the headphones (other than having them in my ears) and ever so often have to wave it round my head a bit. Here are some reviews of what I listened to...

Brain of Britain

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00wlc12/Brain_of_Britain_13_12_2010/

Listening to Brain of Britain I did of course shout a few answers out (“Mulligatawny!” “Dame Edna Everage!”) few of which were right as Brain of Britain is the kind of quiz show where you are impressed with yourself if your incorrect guess matches that of contestants (“wow I thought something that they thought!”) It’s still sad not to hear the contestants being referred to as Mr or Mrs So-and-So now that previous host Robert Robinson has gone (for an idea of his idiosyncratic presenting style watch this hilarious A Bit of Fry and Laurie parody http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npvQ3M3WaPA) However this did mean tonight we got to hear a lot of the splendid name “Lincoln Allison” which sounds like the name of a fictional private detective, Lincoln Allison PI or something along those lines. Another nice quirk is that as all the rounds but one are the same the current host Russell’s Davies’ periodic announcements of a new round seemed wonderfully arbitrary and Numberwangesque. There were also a few points in the programme where I mistook erudite pauses for a loss of signal and started waving my MP3 player in the air.

Had a bit of a Google today trying to find out something about the history of the show and discovered it was originally a segment of the wonderfully passively-aggressively titled 1950s quiz show “What do you know?”Although not my favourite Radio 4 quiz show (I prefer the breathtakingly obscure connections of Round Britain Quiz) Brain of Britain is a pleasant  listen with its unrelentingly old-fashioned feel.

Adventures in Poetry

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00wlbj4/Adventures_in_Poetry_Series_11_Waltzing_Matilda/

The best of the programmes I listened to last night even though I usually avoid (probably unfairly) any Radio 4 programmes about poetry. Adventures in Poetry explored Australia’s “unofficial National anthem” Waltzing Matilda and its author Banjo Paterson (whose name might be even more splendid than Lincoln Allison’s) with interviews from various academics. Interestingly the programme didn’t just focus on one aspect of Waltzing Matilda but instead explored different interpretations/approaches: was it a coyly veiled political statement? a defiant celebration of Australian identity? or just a means for Banjo to flirt with his friend’s sister? 

The only worry I had about this programme was that although it did focus on the lyrics rather than the music it was still surely more “Adventures in Song” than Adventures in Poetry though as it was so interesting it seems churlish to complain.